Exploring the Dry Gables Series - "A Great Burden is Lifted"
The stories from the two Dry Gables Series include an accompanying post from the Sparkle Schoolhouse Educator, Meredith Markow. Each post offers insights into the characters and dynamics of the stories, along with suggestions for how to use the stories as parenting or teaching tools!
Hello, Sparkle Grown Ups!
Back now with our good friend, Wilhelm Bauer, Dry Gables’ Carpenter and Town Planner in the story "A Great Burden is Lifted" from the Dry Gables: Hands Together collection.
Wilhelm was a very meticulous worker with a lot of energy and focus – but above all, he had a plan. And we know that this degree of plan making can bring a certain inflexibility or resistance to change. It can also bring frustration and even anger when others don’t seem to be doing their part.
Remember, the Bauers want their autonomy, and they like things to be just so. And when they aren’t "just so", well, then they can get quite frustrated… or in the case of Wilhelm, when he learned that he was going to be father, even a little rattled. Our Wilhelms like to be prepared. No, our Wilhelms, they need to be prepared! Wilhelms are motivated to do everything that they can to make the world a better place, a proper place, where everyone does their part for the good of all. It can be hard when our Wilhelms don’t have the control to make the world as good as their idealism inspires them to be. They are our good Samaritans, our Wilhelms.
Wilhelm is saying to us, “I want to be good!”
But when their plan isn’t working out right or when others don’t follow their lead correctly, they can get rigid or "uptight". It would be counterproductive to just tell our Wilhelm’s to "relax" or "let go". It doesn’t work that way. They can’t. They need to be assured that all is in hand before they can do so, or they need to tap into what’s harder for them to access – their own sense of play and fun and joy and freedom.
Even though you can’t tell a Wilhelm to be more playful, you can model it or gently bring invitations for play until he can more naturally relax and catch his breath. With Jane’s help, Wilhelm can more easily do this! Once our Wilhelms can laugh or breathe or truly feel joyful, then their grip on their plan will naturally relax without forcing them to do so. With a little levity, our Wilhelms can begin to step aside from their inflexibility and see that letting go of their plan could make everything for the better – and in fact, could also help him abide by the words of the Lakota medicine man, Black Elk that “Life … is in the places … where you aren’t prepared. Life – is in the places – where you are surprised and you need to be in the moment and be willing to change.”
What we hope for our Wilhelms is they can relax and learn to take delight in life. They discover that life is not always serious, and then a great burden is lifted, the burden of unnecessary perfection.
So, when your little Wilhelm is showing you signs that he can’t "let go and relax" because he just needs to do it perfectly, or he needs others to do it perfectly (whatever "it" is) or when his plan is the only one that is, in his opinion, the right one, try bringing a little joy into his life. Don’t force it. Don’t tell him to relax, but rather gently model it.
Here’s what you can do:
Laugh! Laugh at yourself when you make a "mistake". Model how silly it is to even try to be perfect. Make "mistakes" on purpose. Find the funny and the beauty in the "imperfect".
PaintShare! Paint a picture together where you trade the painting back and forth. No one has control over the outcome and see how beautiful it can be!
Bake and Take! Bake cookies and deliver them to your local Fire Department.
Draw Hope! Get out to crayons or markers and draw a sunrise or other images of inspiring things that happen every single day.
Karaoke! Put on some silly, fun music and dance the night away!
The World is Good! Talk with your Wilhelm about real life examples where there is goodness in the world.
Day Trip! Take a day trip to visit a near-by town. Don’t plan it to the letter. Visit Aunt Millie!
Bugs and more bugs! Take a walk in nature. Find bugs.
Make a mess! Get dirty and let that be OK. Wash your clothes afterwards, proving that one can survive a little mess!
First word…! Play charades.
Dress up! Be Jane!
Our Wilhelms need our Janes! Hands Together!
Jane brings to our ever so good, but sometimes perfectionistic, inflexible Wilhelm spontaneity, joy, play and permission to feel free!
About the Author
Meredith Markow
Meredith has been working with adults and children of all ages for the past 25 years as a Waldorf Teacher and Educational Consultant. She received a B.A. with a focus on child development and child psychology from the University of Michigan, in 1984, an M.A. Ed from Washington University in 1987, and her Waldorf Teaching Certificate from the Lehrerausbildung (Teacher Training) in Nurnberg, Germany in 1989. She was certified as a Living Inquiries Facilitator in 2014, and she completed her formal teaching certification with The Enneagram Institute in 2014. Her work in the classroom and with individuals and groups is designed to help people of all ages to drop self-limiting beliefs to live a more joyful and compassionate life.
