Sparkle Schoolhouse

Exploring the Dry Gables Series - "Max Denken: Newspaperman"

The stories from the two Dry Gables Series include an accompanying post from the Sparkle Schoolhouse Educator, Meredith Markow. Each post offers insights into the characters and dynamics of the stories, along with suggestions for how to use the stories as parenting or teaching tools!

Greetings, Sparkle Grown Ups! Get on your 3-D glasses, and boldly go where no man has gone before! To the truth seeking, innovative mind of our friend,

Max Denken!

Maxes are insightful and curious about the world around them, and they like to ask questions, questions and more questions as they gather information to find out how things go together. They are our visionary pioneers who are able to create something new and see the world in an entirely new way. They are our champions for the Truth!

Max is a “Denken”. Now remember, Denkens are looking for guidance and security, they can be anxious or fearful, and they want to know what and whom they can trust.
Denkens seeks guidance and security, they want to know what they can trust to feel safe, and the emotion that often underlies their motivations or that they are avoiding feeling is Fear.
Our Maxes do all of this by researching and observing and investigating! They want to understand reality, and they want to possess knowledge. They need sufficient time and space to explore inner worlds and to explore their questions. It is through understanding, and in becoming competent in their skills that they find their safety and security.

When your child is being a Max, you might notice that they:

• Likes to be alone

• Has definite opinions about most things, but shows willingness to listen

• Has a curious and active mind

• Has an interest in how things work or in philosophical questions

• Gets lost in reading and other interests

• Has a whimsical sense of humor

• Tends to stay separate of hove around the edge of groups

• Seems uninterested in social norms

• Dislikes it when people pry or lavish too much attention on them

• Have no problem entertaining themselves

• May see things that others don’t see

• Frighten easily, especially when put on the spot

• May feel awkward or different

• Has a more quiet or shy personality

The tricky bit in parenting or teaching our Maxes is that they are very private, and that they can be withdrawn and distant, sometimes even difficult to understand. They are also very protective of their space, and they are also very private about their feelings; they don't want people to see what they're feeling and they often make sure that no one sees when they're hurt. In this way, it can be difficult to support our Maxes.

Our Maxes need to feel that they are competent. Maxes have an exceptional ability to concentrate and focus which can be used honing in on the world of ideas, in creative work and also in all areas calling for craftsmanship and detail. And while they can be a bit distant as they become preoccupied with their thoughts, they are actually looking to find the truths that can in the end unite us all.
This is what John Bernard had to say about his Uncle Max:

"Truth was a very, very important thing to my Uncle Max – and it was at the center of his life as a newspaperman – and at the center, well… of his life as a whole. I’ve known Max my entire life and though he can be a little distant, a little stiff, a little serious and downright quirky - he has always been a champion for Truth – and… by extension, it was Max who championed the survival of my hometown itself."

But why?

Why do our Maxes need to feel competent? And why do they seek to know what is true?
The primary worry for our Maxes is feeling that they are incompetent or helpless. They find their security through becoming a specialist; they are seeking competence in order to navigate the unknowns in life. And because Maxes are ultimately seeking to know the Truth for the benefit of All, they tend to diminish their own needs. They want to know that they are safe even when they have needs.

What your Max most wants to hear from you is:
YOUR NEEDS ARE NOT A PROBLEM.
When their behaviors, words, actions are challenging, it’s often because they think that having needs translates into being incompetent.

Here are a few tips when you have a Max on your hands:

• As smart and capable as our Maxes are, they often don't believe they have much to offer others. Patiently let them know that they are important.

• Appreciate what your Max has to say, and be willing to share your knowledge. But don’t fake it. Your Max will know if you are being disingenuous. Maxes respect people with opinions who can back them up.

• Maxes tend to be independent. Hovering will quickly alienate them. They often feel that they can do what's expected of them after being told once, and they may resent continuous monitoring or supervision. One area that will get your Max agitated is to question their competency, and they may interpret your hovering and checking in as a lack of faith in them.

• Maxes are also very protective of their space. They can feel crowded easily and can view conversations as intrusions when they're trying to think or fidget or work. Don’t catch them by surprise, as there is danger of overwhelming them.

• Be a quiet presence with them. If you give them sufficient space while remaining steady and supportive, they will almost always come around. Give them time and space. And wearing 3-D glasses help when navigating time and space!

The gift that our Maxes give to us is:

Clarity and Illumination!

(And Max knows the secret about where to find it!)
“The truth won’t be found up here, John” And he was pointing to his head at that moment, “The truth… lives here – in your heart”